Hello blog followers! ... If there are any?
So I'm sorry it's taken me just a short while to update my blog. Boy! Has so much happened to me! I'm starting to learn the wonderful deal of privacy! I'm usually not a private person and would naturally, as you can see, before spill my guts, and heart, and my dog out onto your computer screen! I'm a little different now! I'm still pretty open, but I've come to terms of leaving the past in the past! That's what we all need to do with the mistakes we've recompensed for any isn't it? So earlier in this blog I talked about my path to forgiveness and repentance and finding God in my life again. Well I'm please to tell you that I'm a completely new woman! Last January I was so lost and distraught and a whole other non-sense I don't remember, but that's the great thing! I don't remember that girl anymore! Let me update you by the months.
So I last blogged in April telling you... who knows what. I was SO weird! Well anyway late April is where I received probably the most splendid answer to my prayers! He goes by the name of Jake McRae! Let me tell ya I was stubborn with this one!... I mean... come on guys he's blonde! I'm usually not into the blonde, soccer playing, pre-missionary type, but this one looped me and I was a sucker... right away? Heck no! I was so skeptical of love when I met him! With him and his spiritual self though, Jake was able to break through some shells I didn't even realize I had up! I could go on and tell you the ways he's changed my life, but it would take much longer than the time I have! So we started dating until early June... that's when he left on his mission to NORTH CAROLINA!! ... Yes I am waiting for him, but I'm also being realistic in the fact that it might not happen, and I'm perfectly OK with that! Jake's brought something into my life that no other man could, and that my friends... Is pure joy, love, and charity!
So June 8th is when the cute guy decided to leave my life and go devote His to the Lord! YES! He's a keeper! It was hard! Did I cry a lot? YES! (and trust me I did NOT think I would be that emotionally distraught over him) Do I still cry a lot?... It's getting better. :) But it was a big time to recognize myself and see just how much this man meant to me!
July something pretty amazing happened! I had a complete change of heart! I decided to go on a mission! Now I know what ya'll are thinkin. "You just wanna go cause Jake's out." First off. He may have been an inspiration, but so has my best friend Brooke! She's known since she was in primary that she was gonna serve the Lord! Talk about amazing dedication! No no... Back in January (in the awful days) I came across two sister missionaries that talked with me for a while. After I left them I got the strongest feeling "That's going to be you someday" and I was just like "Well that's nice that you think so spirit, but I don't want to go! I want to get married and be a mom! Or at least focus on my education or something like that" Well then it went away i guess... or I pushed it aside. Then after Jake left it came back like "Hey! You should do this too!" ,but of course I didn't want my reasoning to be because of Jake! That's dumb! I mean I would still be out 9 months after Jake even gets home!
But then something struck me and it still does to this day... Yes. I do have agency and that is a wonderful gift! Though who knows me better? Myself! or the Lord? Well I think I've proven that I don't know what's best for me! But I do! I know that following the Lord is best for me! So I should want to do his will! So... there ya go! If it still so happens that the Lord wants me to go on a mission I'm going to put my papers in! I'm SO STINKIN EXCITED! I know what it's like to have the yearning for something and not completely grasp what I need to make my life full of joy and clarity! I would love to help others realize that they can become a completely new self as well! It would be such an honor! Big month huh!
And now I am living in good old Provo, Ut once again! I love it down here! It's so trying, but always in a different way! I am growing spiritually this year and hopefully I will grow better temporally down here as well! ... One can only hope that I finally catch on to this crazy school, working girl world? Budgeting is hard for me! I have a part time job and have to pay for everything so it's kind of a challenge... That's where I wish I had Jake! He's so frugal! But I just need to keep better track! Hey maybe that will be my goal for this next month!
So I think you guys are pretty much updated... not too much else! I was landscaping over the summer which was a blast! I miss it kinda! haha But yes! Hopefully I will be better about blogging this October! General Conference is in a week! Also coming soon is a brand new blog from me for the girls of Utah County! It's about men and what they are really thinking! I'm excited! Love you! Peace and blessings ya'll! Peace and blessings!
